Darth Plushie
by Sansenmage
Summary: Vader is disturbed by how Palpatine is plotting to undermine the youth of the Empire.


**Darth Plushie**

He was Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith;Archduke of the First Galactic Empire; Lord Executor; et cetera and et cetera, and his duty was to preserve order throughout the First Galactic Empire. Instead, he was pleasing the Emperor by attending the Court festivities. He was outcast among the political and cultural savants who discussed the likes of Yisivi greeting rituals and Naxen jewelry engravings. They feared the Great Inquisitor, but their contempt for his philosophies was apparent. Vader had the inclination to seek sanctuary from these political parasites, but he was not the ignorant Anakin Skywalker from Tatooine, dreaming of Jedi knighthood.

He possessed the power that Obi-Wan had denied him, but his core was frigid as Hoth. His Padmé was one with the Force, unable to melt his flesh with her sensuous dark eyes. She lay buried on Naboo with their unborn child, the child who had radiated such Force potential that Jedi and technology could not probe the child! With both, his loneliness would have subsided, the Skywalker Dynasty ruling the Empire with benevolent order. With imperial children, he would have the best seats at the speeder bike coliseums and the best starship models from Corellian toy makers. Unfortunately, Sith Lords were denied companionship. The cold charisma of Palpatine made Vader want the warmer currents of that damnable Obi-Wan.

Vader brooded upon entering the ornate conference chamber of his master, kneeling with disciplined and disdainful formality. He anticipated that the Emperor would demand his presence on Coruscant to curtail Senatorial dissidents, which was as loathsome as interacting with Dugs. His anger was great because of this, but greater since it had interrupted his departure to the Imperial sponsored pod races on Ryloth. At least he had been able to read the final chapter of the Corellian epic, _The Son of a Sith Lord_, on his shuttle. Now, if only the decaying Emperor in his scarlet shroud would not dawdle with his Umbaran assistant. He mused that Padmé might have been correct about the Separatists ideals, but that had the misfortune to be insidious subterfuge. If only Qui-Gon and Dooku had been on the Jedi council…

"Lord Vader, you may rise," the Emperor cackled as he confronted his apprentice from atop his informal throne. "We have important matters of state to discuss."

Vader scowled behind his ebony mask, "Yes, Master."

From within the confines of his draping robes, the Emperor produced some unidentifiable specimen. Did this objects conceal state secrets in its black recesses? If it did, it was quite ingenious to be in the form of any nondescript toddler toy, though what animal it imitated was unknown to Vader.

The Emperor cackled while chucking the object toward Vader, "Catch this!"

Vader responded with the agility that Nature had endowed him with, although it could be argued he was more mechanical than man. He had retained his physical athleticism, unlike the Emperor who depended on the Dark Side to project the plush object seven meters. In his gloved hands, Vader gripped the object with curiosity that soon was as far flung as Force disturbances from the Outer Rim.

"Now, have you any knowledge of that item?"

Vader continued to inspect it, 'No, Master."

"Hmm, do you have any theories?"

"It--it looks like me."

The Emperor smiled like any grandfather might, "Yes, Lord Vader. Your observation astounds me! Now, have you any idea how this affects the young?"

"No."

"My great--uh, my grandniece Mara says it is cute and cuddly."

Anger reddened Vader behind his mask, "Cuddly?"

"That is an awesome power. Children of several species have discovered such properties, liking its soft squishiness."

"But--but it's me."

"Yes," the Emperor crowed. "Parents fear your power, but their offspring embrace it. Do you know hat advantage this gives us?"

"It corrupts the youth."

"Indeed, my astute apprentice. And with their hunger we shall finance the Death Star!"

Vader grimaced at what he deemed dishonorable, "Merchandising? We are not shopkeepers!"

"Now, we can not rule by Force and force alone," the decaying man beamed. "Politics and military tactics lack the beautiful subterfuge of economics!"

Vader hesitated, "I--I disapprove, Master."

The Emperor appeared bored, shifting his chin into his skeletal claws, "Your lack of vision is unsettling, and I am disappointed. I thought you had ambition."

"But--but I'm not a toy!"

"Hmm, it is only the beginning. You have not seen the clothing line. The speeder bike helmets are quite something. I foresee them as the best-selling item."

"I will not make toy store appearances."

"That would not due for a Sith Lord, but you will sign autographs."

"I won't!"

"Such anger!" the Emperor laughed, clapping his hands. "It makes you stronger, but do not Force choke your fans."

Vader stomped his polished boots, "I'm a warrior, not a celebrity!"

"But you are famous. Have you seen all the requests to have your lovechild?"

"I--I'm married."

"You were," the Emperor continued in his maniacal glee that embraced his apprentice. "And that is to remain top secret. You are the Empire's most eligible bachelor, you know."

"You're--you're not married."

"I'm too old to think about marriage, but you are twenty-five. Now, what do you think of Ysanne Isard or Tarkin's daughters-"

"I--attachment is forbidden!" Vader roared as his right hand neared his lightsaber hilt.

"You are so Old Republican," the Emperor sneered. "Now, if you are dating your emotions are stronger. The results are obvious."

"I won't betray the memory of my Padmé!" Vader growled as he gripped his lightsaber.

"Is that why you wear black all the time?"

Vader paused, "You ordered me to wear dark clothing!"

The Emperor sighed, "That was fashionable two years ago. Corellian green is the new black. And Padmé would want you to be up to date, if you know what I mean."

Vader activated his light saber as he strode toward the slouching Emperor, "First, I hate green. Second, you will die."

"Um, Lord Vader," the Emperor grinned as he straightened his posture. "Do not forget that our spies saw Obi-Wan on Chandrila."

"He will die first," Vader rumbled as he deactivated his weapon. "Once I have eliminated him, you will be next."

"That is the way of the Sith," the master smirked. "But remember to make more public appearances with the lightsaber on. The kids love those things."

"Yes, Master," the Dark Lord grumbled as he groveled before the Emperor once more, defeated. "I do thy bidding."

Vader strode from the Emperor, his cloak rustling behind him like some winged nocturnal predator. He would pursue the remnants of the Jedi to extinction before assuming the imperial throne unopposed, though the desire to strike was seething from his mind. His visions knew this was fatal, since he had not conquered the Dark Side like Palpatine, but he would balance the Force yet!

Now, if only he had savvy Padmé to be his Empress and to bear their heirs, but there would be revenge on Obi-Wan Kenobi at least.

**Authoress Note:** Story originally written in June 2005.


End file.
